Why we need to kiss more
There’s so much more to swapping saliva with another human, whether it’s your first or thousandth kiss. These tips and tricks should help improve your game
Mouths are powerful pointers to sexual attraction. These days, we are so used to seeing people in masks and thereby miss so much communication because we’re not, well, reading their lips. Kissing, generally, has been pushed to the side for reasons I needn’t repeat.
Kissing is great but, after the initial foray into a relationship, can get relegated or, worse, canned altogether. Science even suggests kissing can be good for your health, with studies finding that it can even reduce perceived stress. When you kiss somebody, it tends to trigger oxytocin (otherwise known as the ‘love hormone’) in the brain and the oxytocin system is linked with feelings of attachment, according to the kissing experts. It symbolises the beginning of something, be it romance, sex or deep connection.
The more you kiss, the more you tighten and tone your facial muscles, too. The act of kissing can involve anything from two to 34 facial muscles; it’s a workout for your face – and neck if you’re really going for it! Exercising your facial muscles can also increase collagen production, which contributes to firmer, younger-looking skin. I also like the Hayo’u Rose Quartz Precision tool to help with this, which is designed to target delicate skin around the eyes and lips with pinpoint accuracy, and lift, plump and sculpt, thereby reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
The best kisses have a spontaneous edge but, saying that, a little preparation still goes a long way. If you know you’re going in for the kissing kill later, skip the garlic bread and raw onions on the salad at dinner. Try a mouthwash tablet, a sustainable alternative to traditional mouthwashes as you don’t need water, such as Mouthwash Tablets in Spearmint or Activated Charcoal, (coming soon to Onolla) which also have stain-removal properties.
Dry or cracked lips are akin to kissing a tree trunk, so keep them scrubbed and well moisturised with a natural lip balm. Try Rhug Wild Beauty Moisturising Lip Treatment, which contains Rhug beeswax, healing organic arnica, vitamin E and organic avocado oil. Another powerful hydrator is Wildsmith Ceramide Lipid Repair Balm, a soothing multi-purpose balm that is enriched with ceramides, vitamin E and a nourishing blend of plant oils to restore and protect lips, cuticles, elbows, heels or any areas of extremely dry, cracked skin.
Make dental hygiene a priority with natural, compostable floss to help eliminate germs and promote healthy gums. Flossing daily helps to remove food debris and prevent bacteria from the areas that regular brushing cannot always reach. Plastic-free natural floss is ideal for those suffering with bleeding gums (again, landing soon).
Add in a good whitening non-foaming toothpaste containing the mineral-rich powders calcium carbonate and kaolin clay, and a decent brush with BPA-free nylon bristles (replace every two months), and you’ll effectively remove plaque and tartar build-up. When brushing, angle up for top teeth and down for bottom teeth. Begin from the outside part of the teeth, moving to the inside. Finish with chewing surfaces, holding the brush flat and brushing back and forth.
Bear in mind that not everyone is into public displays of affection, especially in front of friends or family, so pick your moment. Also, the type of kiss is key. Bad news or a sad mood going on? A kiss on the forehead for comfort, rather than moving in for a full-on smooch, is more in order.
Avoid any sort of romcom leaps or lunges to plant your kiss. Poise, people – timing is everything. Does the person even want to be kissed right now? A kiss that is anticipated or seems to be in the right context will always be better received than a surprise snog that the receiver isn’t quite ready for.
We need to talk moisture. Too wet or too dry and it’s game over. If you naturally have a mouth as moist as a Saint Bernard, restrict your flow by switching between deep tonguing (sorry, but this IS what it’s called!) and lightly pecking – sensual if you do it right – so you can slow up on the saliva and not drool in your partner’s mouth. (That should be actually illegal.)
Be a tease. Not all people like to kiss with tongues. You shouldn’t force the issue and you can get them going instead via the bit by the ears (never, ever kiss the end of someone’s nose – this would be odd, creepy, deeply patronising or all three). You never know, all that extra attention elsewhere might put them in the mood for the main, more mouthy event.
Be aware of the washing machine snog that goes round and round and round, as though you are on a neverending spin. When it comes to kissing, it’s all about the build-up. Dead tongue is not good either; the experts will always encourage changing things up – work it fast, then slow, deep to shallow. If the recipient is enjoying themselves, they’ll reciprocate and start to mirror your style. Now you’re cooking on gas!
Finally, don’t ham up it like the movies. Sure, a little bit of encouragement goes a long way, but that means little sounds of pleasure, rather than exaggerated moaning and groaning. A positive review goes a long way, too, so breaking away to say, ‘That was fantastic/lovely/gorgeous’ is bound to get you a repeat performance and some good scores on kissadvisor.