Learn to Mother yourself

"Our mother has such a profound influence on present and future health, emotionally and physically. For better or for worse, we are our mothers’ daughters."

By Emma Cannon, fertility and women's health expert

‘Tell me about your mother’ – an enquiry I have returned to again and again during my years in practice. Our relationship with our mothers is probably the most intense for any of us, in one way or another, even in absence. Our mother literally gives us life. Every woman contains within her the essence of her mother, her grandmother, great-grandmother and every woman who has gone before her. The mother-daughter relationship therefore holds within the emotional and physical building blocks for life. Our mother has such a profound influence on present and future health, emotionally and physically. For better or for worse, we are our mothers’ daughters.

So, how did mothers get so overlooked in the fertility story? Looking through many books on the subject, they barely get a mention. 

Emma-cannon

I have supported women on the road to motherhood for many years and have been privileged to listen to the stories of these women’s lives; I have shared in their sorrows and their joys. For me, the most beautiful moment is seeing a woman return to her own source, her own innate essence, having dropped all the comparisons, the fear, the perfectionism, and she finally comes home to herself. This is often the moment when she becomes a mother, regardless of whether or not she actually bears a child. It is the moment when a woman learns to mother and love herself, and is deeply comfortable with who she is, that she takes on the mother energy.

Some of the best mothers I know do not have children and there are some women who have children who I would not consider to be mothers, often because they were never mothered themselves. 

So, if you are still longing to become a mother, learn to mother yourself. Make peace with your own mother, heal the wounds of the past and bring compassion to yourself and to your mother and to all the women in your lineage. 

Emma’s know-how

Be the kind of mother you want to be to yourself.

Speak kindly to yourself and not harshly 
Practise self-care
Create time for yourself
Choose compassion over holding on to injury

Make peace with your own mother, heal the wounds of the past and bring compassion to yourself and to your mother and to all the women in your lineage. My process called Fertile Enquiry focuses on this. 

Mothers on the brink?

Again, start with mothering yourself, take care of your needs, get help and good rest
Work with professionals to heal the past ( the various approaches are endless)
Motherkind.co is a great resource and podcast for conscious parenting

Read Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home by Toko-pa Turner. The world has never been more connected, yet people are lonelier than ever. Whether we feel unworthy, alienated, or anxious about our place in the world, the absence of belonging is the great silent wound of our times.


Emma’s Medicine Women Mentorship is, frankly, the mother of all mentorships! An immersive group-led programme with Emma lasting the duration of 2021, it is for women who seek to discover the medicine that lies within. It includes exercises, journeys, meditations, self-care toolkits and more. Find out more here